By Israel Shamir
Lobster for Iran

"Iran's biggest threat since Nazis," said Israeli defence minister Shaul Mofaz,

according to the Guardian; "The world must not wait! Since Hitler we Jews have not

faced such a threat" as presented by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who "further stirred

international outrage by calling on Israeli Jews to be resettled in Europe" (...thus

the Guardian).

These guys are hard to please! In the 1930s, Hitler called for the Jews to be

resettled outside of Europe, and they declared war on him. Now Ahmadinejad calls for

the resettlement of Jews in Europe, and the Jews still respond with a war cry. That

is, unless the Guardian missed the point in its report, and the outrage actually

came from the Europeans who preferred the Palestinians to serve as unwilling host to

these difficult guests.

Anyway I beg to differ: President Ahmadinejad is the biggest threat since Gerard de

Nerval, a flamboyant French poet, promenaded a lobster on a blue ribbon lead, just

as one exercises a dog, along the Palais Royal gardens in order to épater le

bourgeois. A truly poetic soul, an enfant terrible if ever there was one,

Ahmadinejad aimed to wake us up from our over-long after-dinner nap. What can the

Iranian do if 'Jews' is the only magic word that awakens us from this slumber?

Sexual innuendos would not bestir even a child fresh from his AIDS-awareness lesson.

An attack of Christianity would be warmly applauded by the undeniable masters of

European minds, Messrs Sauerkraut and Finkelrot. In this post-modernist age, when

the Vagina Monologues have entered the matinee repertoire, it is not that easy to

épater the increasingly blasé bourgeoisie. If Ahmadinejad would call for the

resettlement of six million European Muslims outside of Europe, nobody would raise

an eyebrow with the possible exception of Oriana Fallaci and M. Le Pen, who might

object to his plagiarism. If he were to call for the erasure of France from the

world map, the French would not sit up and pay attention: they think there is

already a Brussels directive to this effect!

I admire Ahmadinejad. Not as a politician: let the Iranians judge him on this merit.

Not as a divine: I leave this to the Muslims. But as a true poet who unveiled our

hypocrisy and slaughtered our last sacred cow. This is the only possible explanation

of his deeds and words: Iranians have really no reason to care about the Jewish

holocaust, one way or other. Nobody accuses them, not even Mr Yehuda Bauer of

Jerusalem's Holocaust memorial institute, who is prone to accuse the World and its

niece for failing to save the Jews. The Persians from Cyrus to Hosroes to Mohammad

Resa Shah were always good to Jews, and even in these mad days there is a large and

flourishing Jewish community in Iran. Ahmadinejad spoke about the Holocaust like

Hillary conquered Everest - because it presented a challenge!

The innocent revisionist historians were so excited when he toyed with an idea of

"finally discovering the truth". They prepared their well-thumbed books and diagrams

of gas consumption and body heat. But Ahmadinejad is interested in the hard facts of

World War II about as much as Nerval was interested in exercising his lobster.

Acceptance of Holocaust dogma is a sign of submission to the Tel Aviv-New York Axis,

a sign of the new colonialism. Ahmadinejad refused it just as St Paul refused to

accept the Noahide laws: not because St Paul wanted to partake of pagan sacrifices,

but because he did not want to take his orders from the Jews.

The European leaders, the docile supporters of patent war criminals, of George W.

Bush, the murderer of umpteen Iraqis, Afghanis and sundry Arabs, of Shaul Mofaz, the

murderer of an eight-year-old girl (among hundreds of others) he killed last week in

besieged Gaza, all sat up and expressed their outrage. They did not object when

Israel strafed and bombed defenceless Gazans. When Israeli politicians threatened to

turn Iran into "radioactive desert", they did not describe it as "a call to

genocide". By his challenge, president Ahmadinejad saved the honour of human race,

as only a poet can do.

I admire Iran, for the fiery crimson of their rose gardens and for the azure of its

old mosques, for the ravishing beauty of its women, whose black eyelashes enhance

the whiteness of their skin shining through their black chadors. I admire Iran for

its marvellous painting that overcame the iconoclastic ravages. I admire Iran for

the spiritual subtlety of its poets, who united their love to women with their

adoration of God in one undivided chant just as the Song of Songs did. Their Rumi

and Jami, Sa'adi and Ferdousi, Hafiz and Khayyam were of the most daring and sincere

poets who ever graced our earth. Ahmadinejad is heir to their tradition, a daring

mocker of our hypocrisy, a boy who saw through the emperor's new clothes. Even if

the ham-fisted Yank should flatten this daredevil, and burn the rose gardens of

Shiraz just as he once incinerated the blossoms of Nagasaki, we may be proud of

Ahmadinejad, our contemporary who dared to tread on the tiger's tail.

II

The European and American reaction to Iran's nuclear program was that of Uncle Tom's

slaveowner, Simon Legree, on learning of an escaped slave. How does this dusky dare

to touch the white masters' toys? Their empty talk of an "Iranian threat" is

designed for the ignorant: Iran has never, ever attacked a European nation since the

wars for Anatolia in the 5th century BC; whereas European imperialists have

repeatedly occupied and controlled Iran, most recently in 1942, or by proxy in 1953,

when they deposed democratically-elected Mosaddeq and returned to dominate this

ancient nation.

Yes, the old colonialism is dead. England can't rule over Iraq, nor France over

Algeria, but the new collective colonialism, that of the imperialist Core of highly

industrialised Western nations over the rest of the world, is hardly any better. The

old masters have decided to pool their resources and powers to rule their erstwhile

slaves together. They switched from the Athenian model where a citizen had his

slave, to the Spartan model, where slaves belong to all Spartans. In this new

collective imperialist universe, the US is the arm, the enforcer of this new

colonialism, while the mind, the ideology is supplied by a vast syndicate that

unites and coordinates the majority of newspapers and networks of both left and

right from Madrid to Moscow and from Texas to Timbuktu, despite their pretensions of

competition and rivalry.

This syndicate is the real powerbase of what two American professors, John

Mearsheimer of Chicago, and Stephen Walt of Harvard, (M&W for short) politely called

'Israel Lobby in the US', though this syndicate has other fish to fry beside that of

the State of Israel's. While fully approving of M&W's endeavour, we should say: they

minimised rather than exaggerated the problem, for it is a global, rather than a

local (the US) phenomenon. The fearsome AIPAC is just the visible tip of iceberg

below which are miles and miles of solid ice: media lords, chief editors, their

pundits, Masters of Discourse, in short. As if by a magic wand, the Iranian crisis

made it visible to the naked eye: they have all cried out in one mighty voice like

the legion of demons in the Capernaum synagogue in response to Christ's words.

In his thought-provoking speech Ahmadinejad said: "The vast Zionist network has been

at the service of the imperialists for decades." This is open to an argument whether

the Zionist network serves the imperialists, or the imperialists serve this network.

It's an example of Managerial Revolution: Jews were managers for the imperialists,

until they took over the show, some would say. Oh no, they remained docile to their

imperialist overlords, argue others. Whatever position we take, the Zionists and the

Imperialists are surely integrated and intermeshed, and if one accepts the idea of

the Iranian threat to Israel, one subscribes to this demonic network.

The nations that refuse the Masters of Discourse are subjugated by force. A nuclear

weapon serves as a great equaliser, as did the Smith & Wesson gun in the Wild West.

In order to prevent too much equalisation, the American pioneers kept guns out of

native hands. The same policy now drives the West in its attempts to keep nuclear

power out of reach of Iranians.

A few days ago I was invited to a live discussion on Russian TV Channel One, where

the Moscow BBC bureau chief rhetorically asked why a peaceful Iran would need

ballistic missiles, and he listed the Iranian missile arsenal. He could not answer

the question of why a peaceful Britain would need ballistic missiles and nuclear

weapons! Actually, why would anybody need one? But if England, with its long and

bloody history of subjugating the Third World from Ireland to Japan, may have these

toys, then it is likewise the duty of any important country willing to protect its

populace from the Western masters' whims.

Yes, Iran is still working on a peaceful program of atomic energy, but if and when

that country decides to build the bomb, we may support this decision, as it would

enhance peace. Actually, few people did more for the cause of world peace than

Julius and Ethel Rosenberg and their associates Harry Gold and Klaus Fuchs. These

wonderful men passed the secrets of American-built nuclear weapons to Russia, and

thus saved Moscow and St Petersburg from the fate of Hiroshima. Without their heroic

deed, the colonial masters would have turned Russia into a radioactive desert.

Joseph Stalin passed the know-how to emerging China, and this was a very good deed

-- otherwise the Americans wouldn't have hesitated to nuke Vietnam as they did

Japan.

The Russian nuclear shield is the only thing Gorbachev and Yeltsin did not break

down in their destruction of the Soviet Union, probably because they did not expect

the patriotic forces to ever return to power in Moscow. This shield allows the

Russians to disregard the nagging of Frau Merkel, and gives them their freedom of

choice: to sell their oil and gas to Europe or to turn the stream towards China. It

allows the Belarus people to have the president they elected by huge majority:

without it, Lukashenka would share the fate of Noriega and Milosevic for his

steadfast refusal to sell the assets of Belarus to George Soros. Let Iranians, too,

have this freedom of choice, and restore balance in the region.

And to sincere well-wishers of our Israeli well-being I'll say: Iran is no danger.

The truth is, the Jews could live extremely well in Palestine. By making peace with

the native inhabitants in 1948, we would have kept our common home, Palestine, as

the hub of the Middle East with Iraqi oil coming to Haifa refineries and trains from

Baghdad to Cairo flying by Lydda and Jaffa, with Muslim pilgrims coming to al Quds

on their way to Mecca, with Christians walking in the footsteps of Christ from

Bethlehem to Nazareth and with Jews doing their aliya (this word meant an annual

pilgrimage to Jerusalem like the Hajj, rather than a permanent immigration to

Palestine as Zionists wont). We would prosper beyond our wildest dreams, as the

prophets promised, if we were to kick the nasty old habit of separateness and

dominance.

It is not too late even now, sixty years and many deaths later. For this purpose, we

may take the advice of Ahmadinejad: let the exclusive Jewish state be eliminated

from the map of the region to be replaced by one state of all citizens of the land,

Jews or not. "The right to govern belongs to all people of Palestine, be they

Muslims, Christians, or Jews", said Ahmadinejad, and by golly, only a Jewish

supremacist may object to his words.

When I said this at the TV discussion in Moscow, I was attacked by the Chairman of a

Russian Jewish Congress and Director of a Zionist Middle East Institute, a greasy

and spotty bully of a man with hanging belly, a living cartoon from Der Sturmer,

with the fitting name Satanovsky. "Watch out, - told me Satanovsky after the show, -

apparently you have never been beaten hard enough. Here in Moscow we know of no

restraints of democracy, my Jewish lads will tear your balls off like they did to

many men like you. Israel should remain a Jewish state forever". Such Jewish Mafiosi

are the real leaders of the Jewish Lobby and chief supporters of the Jewish state

abroad. These sort of people lead the Jewish organisations in Russia, in America and

elsewhere. They need a Jewish state to escape their lands in the hour of wrath, but

we, the ordinary citizens of Israel, do not need it.

However, the Mafia can't rule forever. I take heart in the words of Ahmadinejad:

"The young tree of resistance in Palestine is blooming and blooms of faith and

desire for freedom are flowering. The Zionist regime is a decaying and crumbling

tree that will fall with a storm. (Remember the parable of the barren tree? - ISH)

Palestine is the meeting point of right and wrong. The destiny of the region will be

decided in the land of Al-Qods and it will be a great honour to share in the victory

of Palestine." The victory of Palestine is our victory and we shall be happy to

share in it.

"Now, will there be a war?," one is often asked. I have no full confidence of George

Bush, he does not share his plans with me. But while the gatekeepers of the Left say

that Oil is the reason for the war, in my view Oil can be the reason for peace. As

the price of oil has now crossed the $70 threshold, President Bush must decide

whether he will survive its hike above $120 -- whether his voters in the red states

will happily accept the advice of an American Jewish Congress pundit and director of

their Israel/Middle East Office Eran Lerman (previously of Israeli intelligence) to

stop driving cars every other day. Bush has the power to steer the US away from its

perilous course, and tell to the Jewish Congress pundits to shove it.

And to my Israeli countrymen: I'll remind you of our age-long tradition of

friendship with Iran. Two thousand years ago, a picture of the Iranian capital city

Susa was presented on the Eastern gate of the Jewish temple in Jerusalem. Mishna

(Berakoth 9) called for being especially careful towards it: "never show disrespect

to the Eastern gate!" According to Rambam, this was done so that they would have the

fear of the king of Persia upon them. This tradition is worth remembering and

carefully preserving.

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