By Israel Shamir
Lobster for Iran
"Iran's biggest threat since Nazis," said Israeli defence minister Shaul Mofaz,
according to the Guardian; "The world must not wait! Since Hitler we Jews have not
faced such a threat" as presented by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who "further stirred
international outrage by calling on Israeli Jews to be resettled in Europe" (...thus
These guys are hard to please! In the 1930s, Hitler called for the Jews to be
resettled outside of Europe, and they declared war on him. Now Ahmadinejad calls for
the resettlement of Jews in Europe, and the Jews still respond with a war cry. That
is, unless the Guardian missed the point in its report, and the outrage actually
came from the Europeans who preferred the Palestinians to serve as unwilling host to
these difficult guests.
Anyway I beg to differ: President Ahmadinejad is the biggest threat since Gerard de
Nerval, a flamboyant French poet, promenaded a lobster on a blue ribbon lead, just
as one exercises a dog, along the Palais Royal gardens in order to épater le
bourgeois. A truly poetic soul, an enfant terrible if ever there was one,
Ahmadinejad aimed to wake us up from our over-long after-dinner nap. What can the
Iranian do if 'Jews' is the only magic word that awakens us from this slumber?
Sexual innuendos would not bestir even a child fresh from his AIDS-awareness lesson.
An attack of Christianity would be warmly applauded by the undeniable masters of
European minds, Messrs Sauerkraut and Finkelrot. In this post-modernist age, when
the Vagina Monologues have entered the matinee repertoire, it is not that easy to
épater the increasingly blasé bourgeoisie. If Ahmadinejad would call for the
resettlement of six million European Muslims outside of Europe, nobody would raise
an eyebrow with the possible exception of Oriana Fallaci and M. Le Pen, who might
object to his plagiarism. If he were to call for the erasure of France from the
world map, the French would not sit up and pay attention: they think there is
already a Brussels directive to this effect!
I admire Ahmadinejad. Not as a politician: let the Iranians judge him on this merit.
Not as a divine: I leave this to the Muslims. But as a true poet who unveiled our
hypocrisy and slaughtered our last sacred cow. This is the only possible explanation
of his deeds and words: Iranians have really no reason to care about the Jewish
holocaust, one way or other. Nobody accuses them, not even Mr Yehuda Bauer of
Jerusalem's Holocaust memorial institute, who is prone to accuse the World and its
niece for failing to save the Jews. The Persians from Cyrus to Hosroes to Mohammad
Resa Shah were always good to Jews, and even in these mad days there is a large and
flourishing Jewish community in Iran. Ahmadinejad spoke about the Holocaust like
Hillary conquered Everest - because it presented a challenge!
The innocent revisionist historians were so excited when he toyed with an idea of
"finally discovering the truth". They prepared their well-thumbed books and diagrams
of gas consumption and body heat. But Ahmadinejad is interested in the hard facts of
World War II about as much as Nerval was interested in exercising his lobster.
Acceptance of Holocaust dogma is a sign of submission to the Tel Aviv-New York Axis,
a sign of the new colonialism. Ahmadinejad refused it just as St Paul refused to
accept the Noahide laws: not because St Paul wanted to partake of pagan sacrifices,
but because he did not want to take his orders from the Jews.
The European leaders, the docile supporters of patent war criminals, of George W.
Bush, the murderer of umpteen Iraqis, Afghanis and sundry Arabs, of Shaul Mofaz, the
murderer of an eight-year-old girl (among hundreds of others) he killed last week in
besieged Gaza, all sat up and expressed their outrage. They did not object when
Israel strafed and bombed defenceless Gazans. When Israeli politicians threatened to
turn Iran into "radioactive desert", they did not describe it as "a call to
genocide". By his challenge, president Ahmadinejad saved the honour of human race,
as only a poet can do.
I admire Iran, for the fiery crimson of their rose gardens and for the azure of its
old mosques, for the ravishing beauty of its women, whose black eyelashes enhance
the whiteness of their skin shining through their black chadors. I admire Iran for
its marvellous painting that overcame the iconoclastic ravages. I admire Iran for
the spiritual subtlety of its poets, who united their love to women with their
adoration of God in one undivided chant just as the Song of Songs did. Their Rumi
and Jami, Sa'adi and Ferdousi, Hafiz and Khayyam were of the most daring and sincere
poets who ever graced our earth. Ahmadinejad is heir to their tradition, a daring
mocker of our hypocrisy, a boy who saw through the emperor's new clothes. Even if
the ham-fisted Yank should flatten this daredevil, and burn the rose gardens of
Shiraz just as he once incinerated the blossoms of Nagasaki, we may be proud of
Ahmadinejad, our contemporary who dared to tread on the tiger's tail.
The European and American reaction to Iran's nuclear program was that of Uncle Tom's
slaveowner, Simon Legree, on learning of an escaped slave. How does this dusky dare
to touch the white masters' toys? Their empty talk of an "Iranian threat" is
designed for the ignorant: Iran has never, ever attacked a European nation since the
wars for Anatolia in the 5th century BC; whereas European imperialists have
repeatedly occupied and controlled Iran, most recently in 1942, or by proxy in 1953,
when they deposed democratically-elected Mosaddeq and returned to dominate this
Yes, the old colonialism is dead. England can't rule over Iraq, nor France over
Algeria, but the new collective colonialism, that of the imperialist Core of highly
industrialised Western nations over the rest of the world, is hardly any better. The
old masters have decided to pool their resources and powers to rule their erstwhile
slaves together. They switched from the Athenian model where a citizen had his
slave, to the Spartan model, where slaves belong to all Spartans. In this new
collective imperialist universe, the US is the arm, the enforcer of this new
colonialism, while the mind, the ideology is supplied by a vast syndicate that
unites and coordinates the majority of newspapers and networks of both left and
right from Madrid to Moscow and from Texas to Timbuktu, despite their pretensions of
competition and rivalry.
This syndicate is the real powerbase of what two American professors, John
Mearsheimer of Chicago, and Stephen Walt of Harvard, (M&W for short) politely called
'Israel Lobby in the US', though this syndicate has other fish to fry beside that of
the State of Israel's. While fully approving of M&W's endeavour, we should say: they
minimised rather than exaggerated the problem, for it is a global, rather than a
local (the US) phenomenon. The fearsome AIPAC is just the visible tip of iceberg
below which are miles and miles of solid ice: media lords, chief editors, their
pundits, Masters of Discourse, in short. As if by a magic wand, the Iranian crisis
made it visible to the naked eye: they have all cried out in one mighty voice like
the legion of demons in the Capernaum synagogue in response to Christ's words.
In his thought-provoking speech Ahmadinejad said: "The vast Zionist network has been
at the service of the imperialists for decades." This is open to an argument whether
the Zionist network serves the imperialists, or the imperialists serve this network.
It's an example of Managerial Revolution: Jews were managers for the imperialists,
until they took over the show, some would say. Oh no, they remained docile to their
imperialist overlords, argue others. Whatever position we take, the Zionists and the
Imperialists are surely integrated and intermeshed, and if one accepts the idea of
the Iranian threat to Israel, one subscribes to this demonic network.
The nations that refuse the Masters of Discourse are subjugated by force. A nuclear
weapon serves as a great equaliser, as did the Smith & Wesson gun in the Wild West.
In order to prevent too much equalisation, the American pioneers kept guns out of
native hands. The same policy now drives the West in its attempts to keep nuclear
power out of reach of Iranians.
A few days ago I was invited to a live discussion on Russian TV Channel One, where
the Moscow BBC bureau chief rhetorically asked why a peaceful Iran would need
ballistic missiles, and he listed the Iranian missile arsenal. He could not answer
the question of why a peaceful Britain would need ballistic missiles and nuclear
weapons! Actually, why would anybody need one? But if England, with its long and
bloody history of subjugating the Third World from Ireland to Japan, may have these
toys, then it is likewise the duty of any important country willing to protect its
populace from the Western masters' whims.
Yes, Iran is still working on a peaceful program of atomic energy, but if and when
that country decides to build the bomb, we may support this decision, as it would
enhance peace. Actually, few people did more for the cause of world peace than
Julius and Ethel Rosenberg and their associates Harry Gold and Klaus Fuchs. These
wonderful men passed the secrets of American-built nuclear weapons to Russia, and
thus saved Moscow and St Petersburg from the fate of Hiroshima. Without their heroic
deed, the colonial masters would have turned Russia into a radioactive desert.
Joseph Stalin passed the know-how to emerging China, and this was a very good deed
-- otherwise the Americans wouldn't have hesitated to nuke Vietnam as they did
The Russian nuclear shield is the only thing Gorbachev and Yeltsin did not break
down in their destruction of the Soviet Union, probably because they did not expect
the patriotic forces to ever return to power in Moscow. This shield allows the
Russians to disregard the nagging of Frau Merkel, and gives them their freedom of
choice: to sell their oil and gas to Europe or to turn the stream towards China. It
allows the Belarus people to have the president they elected by huge majority:
without it, Lukashenka would share the fate of Noriega and Milosevic for his
steadfast refusal to sell the assets of Belarus to George Soros. Let Iranians, too,
have this freedom of choice, and restore balance in the region.
And to sincere well-wishers of our Israeli well-being I'll say: Iran is no danger.
The truth is, the Jews could live extremely well in Palestine. By making peace with
the native inhabitants in 1948, we would have kept our common home, Palestine, as
the hub of the Middle East with Iraqi oil coming to Haifa refineries and trains from
Baghdad to Cairo flying by Lydda and Jaffa, with Muslim pilgrims coming to al Quds
on their way to Mecca, with Christians walking in the footsteps of Christ from
Bethlehem to Nazareth and with Jews doing their aliya (this word meant an annual
pilgrimage to Jerusalem like the Hajj, rather than a permanent immigration to
Palestine as Zionists wont). We would prosper beyond our wildest dreams, as the
prophets promised, if we were to kick the nasty old habit of separateness and
It is not too late even now, sixty years and many deaths later. For this purpose, we
may take the advice of Ahmadinejad: let the exclusive Jewish state be eliminated
from the map of the region to be replaced by one state of all citizens of the land,
Jews or not. "The right to govern belongs to all people of Palestine, be they
Muslims, Christians, or Jews", said Ahmadinejad, and by golly, only a Jewish
supremacist may object to his words.
When I said this at the TV discussion in Moscow, I was attacked by the Chairman of a
Russian Jewish Congress and Director of a Zionist Middle East Institute, a greasy
and spotty bully of a man with hanging belly, a living cartoon from Der Sturmer,
with the fitting name Satanovsky. "Watch out, - told me Satanovsky after the show, -
apparently you have never been beaten hard enough. Here in Moscow we know of no
restraints of democracy, my Jewish lads will tear your balls off like they did to
many men like you. Israel should remain a Jewish state forever". Such Jewish Mafiosi
are the real leaders of the Jewish Lobby and chief supporters of the Jewish state
abroad. These sort of people lead the Jewish organisations in Russia, in America and
elsewhere. They need a Jewish state to escape their lands in the hour of wrath, but
we, the ordinary citizens of Israel, do not need it.
However, the Mafia can't rule forever. I take heart in the words of Ahmadinejad:
"The young tree of resistance in Palestine is blooming and blooms of faith and
desire for freedom are flowering. The Zionist regime is a decaying and crumbling
tree that will fall with a storm. (Remember the parable of the barren tree? - ISH)
Palestine is the meeting point of right and wrong. The destiny of the region will be
decided in the land of Al-Qods and it will be a great honour to share in the victory
of Palestine." The victory of Palestine is our victory and we shall be happy to
share in it.
"Now, will there be a war?," one is often asked. I have no full confidence of George
Bush, he does not share his plans with me. But while the gatekeepers of the Left say
that Oil is the reason for the war, in my view Oil can be the reason for peace. As
the price of oil has now crossed the $70 threshold, President Bush must decide
whether he will survive its hike above $120 -- whether his voters in the red states
will happily accept the advice of an American Jewish Congress pundit and director of
their Israel/Middle East Office Eran Lerman (previously of Israeli intelligence) to
stop driving cars every other day. Bush has the power to steer the US away from its
perilous course, and tell to the Jewish Congress pundits to shove it.
And to my Israeli countrymen: I'll remind you of our age-long tradition of
friendship with Iran. Two thousand years ago, a picture of the Iranian capital city
Susa was presented on the Eastern gate of the Jewish temple in Jerusalem. Mishna
(Berakoth 9) called for being especially careful towards it: "never show disrespect
to the Eastern gate!" According to Rambam, this was done so that they would have the
fear of the king of Persia upon them. This tradition is worth remembering and